Not so long ago, the answer to the 'who should pay?' question was a fairly easy one, but that's not the case anymore. Evolving beliefs and social norms have muddied the water on who's responsible for picking up the bill. Added to that, issues of equality and fairness have crept into the fabric of our lives, especially in the world of men and women. Today, every time the bill arrives, guys must weigh their options carefully and proceed with caution; each decision not only influences the early stages of dating, but also affects the foundation of the entire relationship. As a consequence, an egalitarian answer is always required, so below are two important relationship benchmarks that will shed some light on the 'who should pay' conundrum.

MONTHS 1 & 2

In the beginning, there was man; similarly, in the beginning of the relationship, it is the man who pays. The first two months provide guys the opportunity to prove they're solvent, capable and understand the social conventions of dating -- and all are three important qualities ladies will be looking for in a date. During this time, as you pursue the relationship, you'll be the one initiating the majority of the dates (if she's a 'keeper,' you should be initiating almost all of them), thus making it your duty to pick up the bill. Please note that nowhere is this more crucial than on the first date; regardless of the situation (she asks you, she insists on chipping in, you're in purgatory), a true gentleman will unfailingly pay for the first date -- it's the honorable thing to do.

First date aside, though, men shouldn't expect to pay for every date during the first two months. On those occasions when the lady instigates the meeting, the guy should allow her to pick up the bill. Even playfully suggesting that she catch 'this one' falls well within the range of acceptable behavior, especially when she's extended the invitation. In fact, feel empowered to make this move, which will convey to her that you're not planning on paying for everything.

But, if she's a quality girl, you can expect she'll grab the bill when it arrives -- and let her. This move on her part sends two important messages: a sign of respect to you and a statement of equality for her. So, allow her to pay when she initiates the date. Conversely, during these early stages, keep in mind that if she never makes the gesture to reciprocate -- especially on those dates she initiated -- chances are she never will.

MONTHS 3+

Defining the relationship usually occurs sometime around month three, and when it comes to who should pay, it's around this time that payment obligations begin to shift. At this juncture, you should apply a new 3:1 ratio on the 'who should pay' rule: For every three dates you pay for, she pays for one. You can plan to use this tactic for the remainder of the relationship too. Since we don't live in a black-and-white world, however, there are a couple of caveats to this new dynamic: 1- It only applies to dates and trips together; 2- It's only a general rule of thumb, not an explicit formula that you have to follow devotedly.

Maintaining an official scorecard isn't necessary -- and could be counterproductive -- because a relationship is, or at least should be, flexible. Sometimes you'll get the dinner and she'll get the drinks, sometimes you'll go on a spending spree and sometimes she will -- it's just a matter of staying in the ballpark of 3:1 throughout. Doing so will bring a healthy balance and establish a true feeling of shared responsibility in the relationship.

The second -- and perhaps most unsteady -- part of this evolution, though, comes when you actually begin initiating the 3:1 cycle. Obviously, you won't casually announce this 'who should pay' rule over dinner or on an afternoon drive, so strategic measures are required. Luckily, basic implementation is quite simple: Just be slow on the draw to your wallet and give her ample opportunity to go for hers instead. At three months into things, she'll be ready to pay if she hasn't started contributing already, so simply let her cover the cost of every fourth date.

If she isn't responding to the cue, then be a bit more obvious: Excuse yourself to the restroom after the bill arrives or politely hint with a laugh that it's 'her turn' -- anything subtle to suggest that you'd like her to participate in this aspect of the relationship, which is the healthy and fair thing to do. And definitely at this point, if your suggestions exasperate her or she plainly refuses to pay, you may want to seriously consider withdrawing yourself from the relationship.

On a date, the answer to who should pay says a lot about the status, future and well-being of the relationship. And since no hard-and-fast rules exist, it's important for guys to understand this basic timeline so they can make wise, strategic decisions to establish a strong, healthy, equitable relationship.